Mary has had a very heavy schedule since she was released from the Hospital. She had to have blood work done every other day for the first 2 weeks and a weekly appointment with the Oncologist. Once her blood started to respond on its own she only had to have blood work done once a week.
I have like fifty flippin’ tests they want to do. Just on Wednesday I had to go to the gynecology lady (and that was just awkward, but kind of funny, the first thing she said to me after was that I was without a doubt a virgin…go me!), then a bone biopsy, then a spinal tap (just so you know, when your wife has to have a needle jabbed into her spine, when giving birth, be sensitive to the fact that it will hurt and they somehow want you to breath in deeply while sucking in your stomach….doesn’t make much sense does it?), then an echo, then an x-ray and by the time the day was over I was a sobbing shell of a human being. I spent the next two days sleeping.
Tuesday, January 7, 2020
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Thank you for coming to Mary's blog. We have neglected it for some time, as things have been up and down with Mary's health. It is hard to post "She is sick and in the hospital, again," only to follow it with "She is home and doing well, again." Mary had a rough year with her health continuing to decline and her fabulous doctors (no sarcasm, she had the best!) not knowing what was going on.
May 26th, Mary was having hard time breathing and Debbi took her to the ER. Mary was collecting fluid around her lungs and heart, again. It was pretty bad and they drained 1 1/2 liters off the left side of her body that night. They had to intubate her and hook her up to all kinds of machines and monitors. Then they transferred her to Huntsman's ICU.
Sunday was a difficult day, in which they did a lot of testing and Mary had lots of visitors. She wasn't able to speak to us, but was entertaining us all with writing her comments to us. She was her usual chipper and happy self. Same Mary. Same hospital. Different department (ICU at Huntsman is new and her last ICU visit was at the U).
Monday, the doctors told Mary that the fluid was due to GVHD and that they were not able to stop it from happening. They could prolong her life by keeping her on the machines and keeping her in the hospital, but that it was only a matter of time before the condition of her body would kill her. (She had many other issues that were contributing to very poor health.) Mary chose at that time to have the tubes and monitors removed and be put on comfort care (ie allowed to die).
The hospital made arrangements to move her to the BMT unit, where she and Debbi had spent so much time, as she was not supposed to live through Wednesday. (I will have to give more detail on what happened during this time, later. It is late and I have a busy weekend ahead of me.)
Thursday, when Mary was still alive, arrangements were made to send her home on hospice care. Debbi mentioned that she thought if Mary lived through the weekend, she might be able to go to the temple! (Mary's bishop and a member of the Stake Presidency had gone to the hospital to give Mary her temple recommend interviews and granted her recommends to get her live endowment done and to be able to visit the temple on Monday, May 28th, when she wasn't supposed to live more than two more days.)
Mary lived! Tuesday, June 5th, 2012 Mary went to the Oquirrh Mountain Temple to make sacred covenants with Heavenly Father. It was an amazing experience to be there with her. The temple held a special session for Mary. It was amazing!
Mary outlived all estimates of her longevity. She died when she was good and ready, and figured it out (She told her hospice RN, Scott, that she wanted to die, but couldn't figure out how!) We were very blessed to have the extra three weeks with Mary. She continued to teach us lessons on living during her dying. It was beautiful and something we will always treasure.
I will try to find some of the updates Debbi emailed and post them.
Here is the email she sent out last 6/17/2012:
May 26th, Mary was having hard time breathing and Debbi took her to the ER. Mary was collecting fluid around her lungs and heart, again. It was pretty bad and they drained 1 1/2 liters off the left side of her body that night. They had to intubate her and hook her up to all kinds of machines and monitors. Then they transferred her to Huntsman's ICU.
Sunday was a difficult day, in which they did a lot of testing and Mary had lots of visitors. She wasn't able to speak to us, but was entertaining us all with writing her comments to us. She was her usual chipper and happy self. Same Mary. Same hospital. Different department (ICU at Huntsman is new and her last ICU visit was at the U).
Monday, the doctors told Mary that the fluid was due to GVHD and that they were not able to stop it from happening. They could prolong her life by keeping her on the machines and keeping her in the hospital, but that it was only a matter of time before the condition of her body would kill her. (She had many other issues that were contributing to very poor health.) Mary chose at that time to have the tubes and monitors removed and be put on comfort care (ie allowed to die).
The hospital made arrangements to move her to the BMT unit, where she and Debbi had spent so much time, as she was not supposed to live through Wednesday. (I will have to give more detail on what happened during this time, later. It is late and I have a busy weekend ahead of me.)
Thursday, when Mary was still alive, arrangements were made to send her home on hospice care. Debbi mentioned that she thought if Mary lived through the weekend, she might be able to go to the temple! (Mary's bishop and a member of the Stake Presidency had gone to the hospital to give Mary her temple recommend interviews and granted her recommends to get her live endowment done and to be able to visit the temple on Monday, May 28th, when she wasn't supposed to live more than two more days.)
Mary lived! Tuesday, June 5th, 2012 Mary went to the Oquirrh Mountain Temple to make sacred covenants with Heavenly Father. It was an amazing experience to be there with her. The temple held a special session for Mary. It was amazing!
Mary outlived all estimates of her longevity. She died when she was good and ready, and figured it out (She told her hospice RN, Scott, that she wanted to die, but couldn't figure out how!) We were very blessed to have the extra three weeks with Mary. She continued to teach us lessons on living during her dying. It was beautiful and something we will always treasure.
I will try to find some of the updates Debbi emailed and post them.
Here is the email she sent out last 6/17/2012:
Hi all,
I just wanted to share with you all that Mary returned to her Heavenly Father last night shortly after 9:00 pm. It was a privilege and a pleasure to have been her mother. She has been a source or strength and courage to me on may occasion. She had a knowledge of the eternal nature of our mortal existence and was looking forward to being reunited with her earthly father and brother. I have felt her energy joy at being freed from this existence to join her ancestors in celebrating her return home. Happy Fathers Day Sterling!!! She is no longer bound by her physical body and rejoicing at being home again. Thank you all for your love and support through her trials. We love you all very much and wants you all to remember that families are eternal, our relationships here and how we treat others is the legacy we leave behind. Kiss your children, hug your siblings and love and honor your parents. Services will be this coming weekend, with a viewing on Friday and the funeral on Saturday.
Love always,
Debbi
Friday, October 7, 2011
Update 10/7/2011
Hi all,
It has been a while since I have sent out an update. We have been on a roller coaster ride for the last month not knowing what will happen. Conditions could change tomorrow or not - it is a little like the weather. We had 90 temps last week and this week we have had snow.
Mary was home for a few weeks. She was enjoying sleeping without constant interruptions and food. Her hair is growing in and her appetite is improving. Her kidneys, liver and spleen are slowly improving. She was having dialysis on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for 4-5 hours as well as blood testing and transfusions if needed on those days. She also had a doctor visit each week usually on Tuesday or Thursday.
Everything changed last week, when she developed a fever. We did a midnight run to the hospital and they started her on antibiotics, which caused her to get a real nasty case of a yeast infections in her mouth and throat. She has been in considerable pain and has not been able to eat since Sunday. She has started to drink again which is a good sign of improvement. They will probably release her this weekend if all goes well.
The biggest news is that her leukemia was coming back. Before she was released from the hospital a month ago we were told that it was back and the tests confirmed that it was increasing by about 5% of blood volume every 2 weeks. I am sorry if some of you were upset that I did not tell you but I have delayed putting out the word until both of us had had time to adjust. We were advised that the only option was to take her off all her immuno-suppressant’s and hope that the graft could fight it off. Chemo/radiation would just kill the newest transplant cells, and she would not survive a third transplant. It was not a very hopeful meeting.
So we went into “What if…?” mode until we received updates from additional testing. The “what ifs” were not plentiful and we began to prepare for her to return to her Heavenly Father if it came to that. We cuddled and had fun, went to plays and parties, whatever she had energy for.
Last week we were told that the additional test showed that no leukemia cells were present in her bone marrow. Her new graft had been able to eliminate the ones that had developed and any new ones as well. This was a definite miracle because of the aggressive nature of her leukemia.
This has also opened the door for Graft vs. Host Disease (GVH or GVHD). She has a very itchy rash all over but it seems to be getting slightly better as the days go one. One of her nurses indicated that a bad case looks similar to leprosy with the skin falling off. We are glad it is just a mild case but Halloween is coming up and that would be a great costume. Instead she has determined that she will be Professor Xavier from X-Men - bald/wheelchair - it works.
The good thing about the most recent transplant is that it was a live donor so we can request additional cells to re-enforce the current cell production if necessary and that was the plan until she started showing signs of GVH. We already have one dose ready to go if they deem it necessary. Since the discontinuation of a number of her medications her kidneys, liver and spleen have been much happier. She has not had dialysis this week yet, the swelling in her spleen has gone back to normal, and her liver enzymes are returning to normal.
A couple of Sundays ago my Dad read me a section in the “Church News” called Laney’s Legacy, this was quoted in the beginning:
In his book, "All These Things Shall Give Thee Experience," Elder Neal A. Maxwell wrote: "A mortal life may need to be 'shortened' … but if so, it may be done in order for special services to be rendered by that individual in the spirit world, services that will benefit thousands of new neighbors with whom that individual will live in all of eternity."
Mary is not ready to give up but she is also preparing for either outcome. She was able to attend church before Conference and meet a number of singles in the area. She said she has missed the spirit of peace that comes from attending services. She said she is ready for her “Happily Ever After” and wants to date, hold hands with a guy and do some smooching. She is also setting aside items that mean a lot to her to be given to people she cares about in the event she gets to join her Dad and brother Daniel.
If there is one thing I would encourage you to do, it is tell and show those most important to you how much you love them, especially your children. GIVE THEM A GREAT BIG HUG JUST BECAUSE YOU LOVE THEM. The time we spend on this earth is temporary and the legacy we leave behind is directly related to how we treated others in this life.
Our Ward and the Singles Ward will be participating in a special fast for her this Saturday and Sunday. If you would like to include her in your fast it would be greatly appreciated.
We appreciate the medical personnel for all their efforts on her behalf. They are an amazing group of people that are selfless in their treatment of those that are afflicted.
We appreciate all the advise on treatments and remedies. Please send them to me by email so we can utilize them if possible. Just be advised that if current treatments don't work, Mary's time will on this earth will be short so we will not have time to research and implement alternatives.
In truth there is only one person that can heal Mary...that is Heavenly Father. This is not a disease that could have been prevented or prepared for. If it is His will that she remain in her mortal body then she will regardless of the setback she keeps having. She was told in a blessing that she would remain until her mortal purpose was fulfilled. I certainly hope that is not for many years.
Thank you all for your love and support.
Love,
Deb
A donation account has been established at Zions Bank and Trust under the name Mary Caroline Hamner to cover medical and non-medical cost for Mary’s treatments.
Previous emails, pictures and creative works can be found on magicalmaryfairy.blogspot.com
Some memorable moments:
Maggie Ketchum, Mary’s cousin, was able to visit Utah for Maggie’s birthday. Mary was surprised and enjoyed her visit with Maggie immensely. She was very sorry that their time was so short and she was not feeling well for most of it.
Grandma Mary came to visit Utah as well and was able to spend some time in the Hospital with Mary. We love you Grandma Hamner.
Many of Mary’s cousins have move to Utah to attend school. It has been a great source of strength to have all of them here, surrounding her with love and support.
There were a few inmates incarcerated with Mary that were in the same general age group and Mary was able to make their acquaintance and become facebook friends.
The cute guy in room 10 was a favorite of the medical staff. I was able to become friends with his mom and eventually the nurses were able to set him up with Mary as a walking buddy. Their first meeting will be a story told for many generations I am sure, but I need to get more details from the other side of the story before I publish it. (Thanks to all the Nurses and Aids that worked on getting these two together, especially Suzie for taking care of the costuming and makeup.)
Jared and Suzanne and Family moved back to Utah. We are so excited to have them back with all their beautiful girls.
Mary received a couple of care packages from Aunts and Uncles and flowers from a friend. Thanks for your thoughtfulness. You are all awesome. She loved them.
It was also nice to have T around to shower her with love only a big brother can.
It has been a while since I have sent out an update. We have been on a roller coaster ride for the last month not knowing what will happen. Conditions could change tomorrow or not - it is a little like the weather. We had 90 temps last week and this week we have had snow.
Mary was home for a few weeks. She was enjoying sleeping without constant interruptions and food. Her hair is growing in and her appetite is improving. Her kidneys, liver and spleen are slowly improving. She was having dialysis on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for 4-5 hours as well as blood testing and transfusions if needed on those days. She also had a doctor visit each week usually on Tuesday or Thursday.
Everything changed last week, when she developed a fever. We did a midnight run to the hospital and they started her on antibiotics, which caused her to get a real nasty case of a yeast infections in her mouth and throat. She has been in considerable pain and has not been able to eat since Sunday. She has started to drink again which is a good sign of improvement. They will probably release her this weekend if all goes well.
The biggest news is that her leukemia was coming back. Before she was released from the hospital a month ago we were told that it was back and the tests confirmed that it was increasing by about 5% of blood volume every 2 weeks. I am sorry if some of you were upset that I did not tell you but I have delayed putting out the word until both of us had had time to adjust. We were advised that the only option was to take her off all her immuno-suppressant’s and hope that the graft could fight it off. Chemo/radiation would just kill the newest transplant cells, and she would not survive a third transplant. It was not a very hopeful meeting.
So we went into “What if…?” mode until we received updates from additional testing. The “what ifs” were not plentiful and we began to prepare for her to return to her Heavenly Father if it came to that. We cuddled and had fun, went to plays and parties, whatever she had energy for.
Last week we were told that the additional test showed that no leukemia cells were present in her bone marrow. Her new graft had been able to eliminate the ones that had developed and any new ones as well. This was a definite miracle because of the aggressive nature of her leukemia.
This has also opened the door for Graft vs. Host Disease (GVH or GVHD). She has a very itchy rash all over but it seems to be getting slightly better as the days go one. One of her nurses indicated that a bad case looks similar to leprosy with the skin falling off. We are glad it is just a mild case but Halloween is coming up and that would be a great costume. Instead she has determined that she will be Professor Xavier from X-Men - bald/wheelchair - it works.
The good thing about the most recent transplant is that it was a live donor so we can request additional cells to re-enforce the current cell production if necessary and that was the plan until she started showing signs of GVH. We already have one dose ready to go if they deem it necessary. Since the discontinuation of a number of her medications her kidneys, liver and spleen have been much happier. She has not had dialysis this week yet, the swelling in her spleen has gone back to normal, and her liver enzymes are returning to normal.
A couple of Sundays ago my Dad read me a section in the “Church News” called Laney’s Legacy, this was quoted in the beginning:
In his book, "All These Things Shall Give Thee Experience," Elder Neal A. Maxwell wrote: "A mortal life may need to be 'shortened' … but if so, it may be done in order for special services to be rendered by that individual in the spirit world, services that will benefit thousands of new neighbors with whom that individual will live in all of eternity."
Mary is not ready to give up but she is also preparing for either outcome. She was able to attend church before Conference and meet a number of singles in the area. She said she has missed the spirit of peace that comes from attending services. She said she is ready for her “Happily Ever After” and wants to date, hold hands with a guy and do some smooching. She is also setting aside items that mean a lot to her to be given to people she cares about in the event she gets to join her Dad and brother Daniel.
If there is one thing I would encourage you to do, it is tell and show those most important to you how much you love them, especially your children. GIVE THEM A GREAT BIG HUG JUST BECAUSE YOU LOVE THEM. The time we spend on this earth is temporary and the legacy we leave behind is directly related to how we treated others in this life.
Our Ward and the Singles Ward will be participating in a special fast for her this Saturday and Sunday. If you would like to include her in your fast it would be greatly appreciated.
We appreciate the medical personnel for all their efforts on her behalf. They are an amazing group of people that are selfless in their treatment of those that are afflicted.
We appreciate all the advise on treatments and remedies. Please send them to me by email so we can utilize them if possible. Just be advised that if current treatments don't work, Mary's time will on this earth will be short so we will not have time to research and implement alternatives.
In truth there is only one person that can heal Mary...that is Heavenly Father. This is not a disease that could have been prevented or prepared for. If it is His will that she remain in her mortal body then she will regardless of the setback she keeps having. She was told in a blessing that she would remain until her mortal purpose was fulfilled. I certainly hope that is not for many years.
Thank you all for your love and support.
Love,
Deb
A donation account has been established at Zions Bank and Trust under the name Mary Caroline Hamner to cover medical and non-medical cost for Mary’s treatments.
Previous emails, pictures and creative works can be found on magicalmaryfairy.blogspot.com
Some memorable moments:
Maggie Ketchum, Mary’s cousin, was able to visit Utah for Maggie’s birthday. Mary was surprised and enjoyed her visit with Maggie immensely. She was very sorry that their time was so short and she was not feeling well for most of it.
Grandma Mary came to visit Utah as well and was able to spend some time in the Hospital with Mary. We love you Grandma Hamner.
Many of Mary’s cousins have move to Utah to attend school. It has been a great source of strength to have all of them here, surrounding her with love and support.
There were a few inmates incarcerated with Mary that were in the same general age group and Mary was able to make their acquaintance and become facebook friends.
The cute guy in room 10 was a favorite of the medical staff. I was able to become friends with his mom and eventually the nurses were able to set him up with Mary as a walking buddy. Their first meeting will be a story told for many generations I am sure, but I need to get more details from the other side of the story before I publish it. (Thanks to all the Nurses and Aids that worked on getting these two together, especially Suzie for taking care of the costuming and makeup.)
Jared and Suzanne and Family moved back to Utah. We are so excited to have them back with all their beautiful girls.
Mary received a couple of care packages from Aunts and Uncles and flowers from a friend. Thanks for your thoughtfulness. You are all awesome. She loved them.
It was also nice to have T around to shower her with love only a big brother can.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
More Mary
Mary has been on dialysis since Sunday and she is doing much, much better. The doctors are hopeful that her kidneys will be able to process her blood, after they relieve the pressure that they are under.
Mary's recovery this week has been miraculous. When I saw her on Sunday, I was very concerned, as she was very tired and worn out. But she has rebounded beautifully, of course, and is doing so much better. The doctor was even saying it might not be long until she can go home.
Anyone that wants to visit Mary definitely can! She is at the University Hospital on the 5th floor in the Bone Marrow Transplant unit, room 7. Please do not go if you have any inkling of illness, as she is still very susceptible to germs. Please make sure to sanitize your hands before going into the unit. And don't hug her too hard! She is very sensitive and it is easy to hurt her! :)
Thank you for your continued prayers! It has been a long year! Hopefully, we have seen the last of the excitement associated with Mary's leukemia!
Love,
Sonja
Mary's recovery this week has been miraculous. When I saw her on Sunday, I was very concerned, as she was very tired and worn out. But she has rebounded beautifully, of course, and is doing so much better. The doctor was even saying it might not be long until she can go home.
Anyone that wants to visit Mary definitely can! She is at the University Hospital on the 5th floor in the Bone Marrow Transplant unit, room 7. Please do not go if you have any inkling of illness, as she is still very susceptible to germs. Please make sure to sanitize your hands before going into the unit. And don't hug her too hard! She is very sensitive and it is easy to hurt her! :)
Thank you for your continued prayers! It has been a long year! Hopefully, we have seen the last of the excitement associated with Mary's leukemia!
Love,
Sonja
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Update of sorts
I don't know how many people are even looking at this blog, anymore, but, as Debbi is too busy and Mary too sick to update it, I thought I would take a moment to write a little about how Mary is doing.
Mary had her second stem cell transplant (as opposed to a bone marrow transplant) on July 1st. Her new immune system has grafted, meaning that she is making her own white blood cells, but she is still in the hospital. Now they have to manage what is called graft versus host disease (GVHD). GVHD is basically keeping her new immune system from attacking her original healthy cells, and still letting it attack and kill the cancer cells. A tricky balance, to say the least.
Mary has had many ups and downs during this process, but right now is definitely at a down point. She had a colonoscopy last week and had to consume a large amount of liquid, which her kidneys have not been able to process and remove from her body. This has caused her to have a harder time breathing, as she has so much fluid in her body.
Today, Mary had her first round of dialysis to help clean her blood and hopefully take the pressure off of her kidneys so they will be able to manage the job they need to be doing. We don't know if she will have to continue to have dialysis, but our prayer is that her kidneys will work on their own, obviously. We are also hopeful that the decrease in fluid will help Mary to breathe more easily.
Mary was anointed and blessed to regain her health, today. We have faith that is what is going to happen.
Of the last 12 months, Mary has spent more than 9 months in the hospital for one reason or another. This has been very difficult for her and for Debbi, who has been there every day for Mary and still continued to work full time. They could use and would appreciate any prayers on their behalf.
As far as I know, they are not in need of any other help at this time. If you plan to visit Mary in the hospital, please be aware that she tires very easily and she is NOT a morning person. Please do not go early in the morning to see her, late morning at the earliest would be best. And please make your visit short. She does not have the energy to entertain people for long visits.
There has been some talk of holding a fundraising dinner, but nothing has been planned at this time. When such an event happens, I will try to remember to post the information here.
Thanks for continuing to pray for Mary and Debbi.
(Everything in this post is my understanding and opinion, if there are inaccuracies or miscommunications, the fault is totally mine.)
Sonja
Mary had her second stem cell transplant (as opposed to a bone marrow transplant) on July 1st. Her new immune system has grafted, meaning that she is making her own white blood cells, but she is still in the hospital. Now they have to manage what is called graft versus host disease (GVHD). GVHD is basically keeping her new immune system from attacking her original healthy cells, and still letting it attack and kill the cancer cells. A tricky balance, to say the least.
Mary has had many ups and downs during this process, but right now is definitely at a down point. She had a colonoscopy last week and had to consume a large amount of liquid, which her kidneys have not been able to process and remove from her body. This has caused her to have a harder time breathing, as she has so much fluid in her body.
Today, Mary had her first round of dialysis to help clean her blood and hopefully take the pressure off of her kidneys so they will be able to manage the job they need to be doing. We don't know if she will have to continue to have dialysis, but our prayer is that her kidneys will work on their own, obviously. We are also hopeful that the decrease in fluid will help Mary to breathe more easily.
Mary was anointed and blessed to regain her health, today. We have faith that is what is going to happen.
Of the last 12 months, Mary has spent more than 9 months in the hospital for one reason or another. This has been very difficult for her and for Debbi, who has been there every day for Mary and still continued to work full time. They could use and would appreciate any prayers on their behalf.
As far as I know, they are not in need of any other help at this time. If you plan to visit Mary in the hospital, please be aware that she tires very easily and she is NOT a morning person. Please do not go early in the morning to see her, late morning at the earliest would be best. And please make your visit short. She does not have the energy to entertain people for long visits.
There has been some talk of holding a fundraising dinner, but nothing has been planned at this time. When such an event happens, I will try to remember to post the information here.
Thanks for continuing to pray for Mary and Debbi.
(Everything in this post is my understanding and opinion, if there are inaccuracies or miscommunications, the fault is totally mine.)
Sonja
Monday, June 20, 2011
| Hi all, The blessing for Mary has been moved to 6:30 pm, Tuesday June 21, (tomorrow) at my parents home in Bluffdale: 2555 W 15000 S Bluffdale, UT 84065 Be advised the 15000 south is blocked from Camp Williams Road (Redwood Road) Here is a funny story...(picture attached) On Friday, Mary was transfused with several bags of blood products so she could have her spinal tap for her upcoming transplant. The Dr's started her last bag of platelets right before they had her curl up like a potato bug. After the spinal tap was over and Mary could straighten up, she poked her head out and said "I think I am having an allergic reaction. Do I look like Hitch?" Once it was confirmed that she definitely was doing a EXCELLENT job of an impersonation she was rather excited to get a look in the mirror to confirm for herself the look-a-like aspect. Sometimes the Hospital does not offer sufficient entertainment and you have to get it where you can.  Cheers, Deb |
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